Shirley Hodes and her sister Ruth “Ruthy” Sweedler didn't have their own rooms. They didn't even have their own sleeping sites.
The 10 members of their immediate family were all clamped into an apartment with 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom with one attic. Five girls slept up there. Ruthy, Shirley and a third sister shared a bed.
A bonus of the cramped arrangement: the sisters formed a close and permanent bond and remained nearby all their lives. When they died this winter, it was of each other within days. Shirley was 108. Ruthy was 105.
Shirley and Ruthy were described as “oldest living sisters in the USA” on the Super-Man Discussion forum the 110 Club. Although this claim is impossible to confirm, she made her combined age of 213 “remarkable”, a site administrator told me via e -mail.
Since Shirley was her great aunt's great -grandmother's great -grandmother and Ruthy, we have to spend a lot of time with them over the years. Here are some of the permanent lessons that I learned from you to live a long, happy and healthy life.
1. Don't forget to dance
It is easy to assume that the maintenance of a punitive, Puritan regime has to live up to 100. After all, a lot of traditional advice seems to be like scolding. Don't drink! Don't smoke! Don't eat too many calories!
In many ways, Shirley and Ruthy seemed to be more refreshing in many ways. Sure, none of them had a cigarette habit, and they were conscientious about many things, including nutrition: they ensured that they eat their fruit and vegetables.
But after dinner they didn't reject a small ice cream. They were not obsessed with the number on the scale. Both looked for opportunities to enjoy life, not only to hoard as much time as possible.
In 2023, for example, when Shirley was 107 years old, she told me that although she loved finding friends, she had to be careful with men, as so many of them were married and she didn't want to instruct anyone.
“Surely all bets are out at some point?” I asked and teased a little.
“When it comes to dancing, yes!” She replied. “Oh, when I dance, I don't care if he has three women. I'll dance with someone!”
2. Don't stop believing
Faith was an essential part of life for both sisters who had enjoyed being active and committed members of their synagogues. As part of a lunch and learning group group, Las Ruthy in six months through the Hebrew Bible. She joined several Jewish women's organizations and was even President of various local chapters.
“Not that I am so religious,” said Ruthy. Nevertheless, their traditions, their history and faith were very important to them, as were their community: “I like to be involved.”
Sisters Shirley Hodes and Ruth Sweedler, around 1923
With kind permission
The maintenance of these connections over time has paid off. The former president of her community and her rabbi continued to visit her, even after the restricted mobility had prevented her from getting out of it.
Shirley also appreciated her Judaism. She stayed in touch with her Rabbi from Connecticut, even after she had moved to North Carolina. This rabbi finally visited Shirley in her new home outside of Asheville and gave a moving laudation at Shirley's funeral this winter.
Her religion helped her to feel connected to both history and the community. She was lucky enough to continue to see her children, grandchildren and even grandchildren who were important for her.
3. Don't stop learning new things
Both sisters have been large readers since they were old enough to borrow from the library. “I'm interested in everything,” said Ruthy. “Books are my passion.”
When she put down a novel for television, she liked to learn something. Her favorite canal was PBS and her favorite show was the investigative CBS program “60 minutes”.
Shirley also described himself as fascinated by other people, stories and situations. In general, she approached with awe and open mind of the world: “I'm just so curious!” she said. “Life would be empty if you don't want to meet and know about other people.”
The food critic and author Ruth Reichl made a similar point on the Julia Louis-Dreyfus-Podcast “Wiser than I”. “The only thing she keeps young is to do things that you don't know,” said Reichl. “If you spend your whole life to do things you already know, you will quickly get old.”
4. Don't forget that age is just a number
When I was about to be 40 years old, I began to ask myself when the middle age begins and whether I should be depressed through the transition. I took the question to Shirley, who was then 105 years old. Your answer pleased me: “I think 'middle -aged' is when you start collecting social security,” she said.
“So even 50?” I asked. “Fifty are not yet 'middle -aged'?”
“Oh god, no!” She replied. “Absolutely not. You are starting to live at 50.”
At 50 they are starting to live.
When I checked in on her birthday this year, Shirley remained happy. “Say everyone, I feel at 105, she said.” I don't feel it at all. “
Ruthy once gave me similar good advice for aging without feeling old. “Keep your body in good condition and your mind in good condition,” she said. “Then you did it.”
5. Do not linger in the past
After Ruthy had completed the high school, she applied to Mount Sinai School of Nursing and endeavored to get into medicine. The institution rejected her because it did not meet her minimum height request. For financial reasons, Shirley was unable to go to college, even though she longed to be a journalist.
Life continued to be Valley disappointments and hardness on their way. They lost beloved siblings, spouses and even children. When the sisters continued, they concentrated as far as possible on the positive and what was still ahead of us. That kept her motivated.
When Ruthy put it for me: “I don't look back. I'm looking forward to.”
I don't look back. I'm looking forward to.
When she was 105 years old, Shirley was widowed, legal blind and almost deaf. She couldn't dance much anymore. Nevertheless, she was full of gratitude. “I have no complaints about anything,” she told me. “I think nothing but ordinary. Everything is a miracle.”
“If you have the important things in life, you have to recognize it,” she added. “My secret? I am a happy person. Although I had illnesses and problems, I overcome them.”
In the end “I think I will know and notice how happy I had,” she said. “I had the best, the absolute best.”
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